As was the case in last Sunday’s City2Surf. After two short kilometres, I realised that this year would be a very different experience to the 8 I have completed prior.
It was the second slowest time I had run the 14km in, including the first year, where I spent most of the race sidestepping women with prams and hungover blokes in gorilla suits.
At various stages of the run, I chastised myself for a lack of preparation, having to grit my teeth and urge myself forward far sooner than I had expected.
I was disappointed. Dissatisfied with my performance.
It took me swallowing my pride and accepting responsibility for it to recognise that I can use this same disappointment as a drive to change.
It needed to be this way…
If I had performed to the expectations I had set prior to the event, I would have left feeling satisfied, falsely convinced that I could get away with a lack of training and discipline to produce an outcome similar to that in years past.
But this was not the case. And it very rarely is.
Being dissatisfied with our performance keeps us on our toes, away from the voice of complacency. This same voice deludes us into thinking that we don’t need to train, to do hard things, or engage with the prerequisite work in order to be better.
It keeps us comfortable.
Some will shy away from competition and objective tests for this reason. The data and feedback from such efforts can be harsh, forcing us to face a humbling reality.
I remember how sluggish I felt at the 2km point; how heavy my legs were and erratic my breathing was. It was not comfortable.
Paradoxically, it would seem that staying comfortable is a recipe for being uncomfortable when you need it most. This seems to be true across many domains…
Perhaps a healthy dose of dissatisfaction is what you need to show up today.
Perhaps a failed performance is the impetus to change.
Perhaps a lofty expectation that was bound to disappoint becomes the motivator to be better.
I know it will be the case with me this week.
So don’t discard your disappointment. Instead, ruminate on it; take responsibility for it. And once you have done this, use it; be better because of it.
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